There’s very little going on in my life right now. No funny or embarrassing stories to tell and I haven’t been depressed or even in a bad mood for a couple weeks so I can’t throw myself a pity party and post a depressing song. TV still sucks and it’s still cold. There’s nothing for me to blather on about right now so I’m going to have to turn to an Alex story for today’s post. I’ve resisted this post for the longest time because frankly, who wants to hear about somebody’s kid’s silly accomplishments. But tough nuts, I have nothing else to talk about.

A few months ago someone gave Alex a DoodlePro sketch thingamajig. He could have cared less about it for the longest time but around Christmas he started to show some interest in it. He mostly drew wispy marks and developed a soft touch quickly. I have yet to see him just scribble in a meaningless fashion.

One day I noticed him spending a lot of time hovering over the DoodlePro so I came over to see if he wanted some help or a perhaps cheerleader. I watched him holding the stylus delicately, as if it were a feather and I thought it was cute. He proceeded to study the blank surface with determined intensity. I think he was mapping out his masterpiece because periodically he’d place a small mark here and there. Suddenly he began the drawing. 

I’ve never seen a toddler move in any sort of graceful way when drawing before, but I have to say his movements were so fluid (almost elegant) that I just stared in amazement. He would end some strokes with a flourish, back away from his creation and then zoom in with one or two more lines. He finished with an “Ahhhh.” It sounded like he was parched and just chugged a glass of water. He put the stylus down and marched away.

While I think he was thrilled with his accomplishment, artists are a fickle bunch and I couldn’t risk him coming back to monkey with perfection, so I wasted no time scooping up the Doodle Pro and whisking it away for a photo shoot:

I think this drawing is totally worth analyzing for it’s artistic merit and 17 month old achievement award potential.

The way I see it, he drew what I have interpreted to be an angel. It was Christmas after all and the house was littered with angels—he was obviously inspired by the subject matter that surrounded him. Even if I’m overinterpreting here, I still see a person with a gown-like dress with something hovering over it’s head. The most impressive part of this drawing to me is that he made two identical and reversed marks where the hands would be. Come on, that’s genius, and completely remarkable don’t you think? In fact, there’s quite a lot of balanced mark making in this piece. There’s also a bit of variety in line weight which can’t be easy to do on one of these things. 

It still impresses me to look at this. Seriously, take a good look at it, there are a lot of things to notice if you know how to analyze art. It really is well conceived.

So that concludes today’s pompous brag fest. Tune in next time when I describe how I know I saw the face of Elvis in Alex’s diaper.

It seems that for quite some time now I’ve been in a bit of a creative slump. Not necessarily for lack of ideas but more from lack of time to execute them.

Out of sheer frustration, I stayed up way too late every night last week and worked on some of the ideas that have been bouncing around in my head for months. This time of night is the only real time I have to work on my stuff and I know I’ll pay for it the next day, but what else can I do? I need several hours at a time and this is the only option for me.

Sure, I’m really cranky and hideously exhausted looking every day. Sometimes I can barely stay awake while I’m hanging out with Alex but he doesn’t seem to mind the new game I invented, it’s called “rug.” This is where I basically lay on the floor motionless and do nothing while he walks all over me. It’s evidently a hoot.

So this is the product of tonight’s 2.5 hr. technique experimentation. I have two very different versions of it and have been making myself nuts trying to decide which one I like better, here’s the one I picked:

By the time it’s this late and I’ve been staring at the same image for hours, I never know if I even like what I’ve been working on any more or if I was just enamored with the Photoshop techniques I was playing with. I was all psyched about it around midnight and now I can’t stand the sight of it.

I don’t know if anyone else is interested, but I always wish I could see what the photo looked like that someone started with, so here’s the sub-par photo that I was working from:

I’m suddenly feeling a bit arty for a change and I’ve had a rush of ideas come to me out of the blue. I don’t have the freedom to invest the time in another painting right now since it requires countless hours alone in my studio, so I’ve decided to make some little heads again. I started making them in college when I had creative blocks just to pass the time and they ended up being somewhat fun for me. The good thing about them is that I can make them anywhere, so I can be carving out a big nose or squeezing in some cheekbones while Alex plays.

This is one of the heads I made in my last batch about five years ago:

I’ve got my supplies ready to go and I’m actually a bit enthused about it.

Assuming these new heads turn out the way I’m envisioning them, I’ve been doing some research into different mold making methods. I previously used a latex mold making product that took me forever and a day to create a mold and the results were sort of wimpy. I’m now looking into a silicone product that should produce far better casts and hold up much better.  

Yes it was two months late, but I have finally given bluberd her birthday present.

It has a wonderful new home, but I miss it terribly.

I doubt the color is accurate in this scan. I just got my monitor back from being repaired (for the third time in a year and a half) and I need to calibrate it. Plus, I forgot to color correct this image before the painting left.  After spending five months with it you’d think I’d have it memorized but I was still sort of guessing at the adjustments (too much red and yellow tone maybe). Amazing how different an image looks from monitor to monitor. And this monitor has three brightness levels which also make it look totally different. Well, even if the colors are off, you can get an idea of what it looks like.

Now I just have to come up with an idea for a new one. Hopefully I won’t take a three year hiatus again.

It seems that I inadvertently set the bar too high for myself with the painting I finished a few weeks ago. I took a couple years off from doing any artwork and I came back with a bang but now everything I come up with pales in comparison so I scrap the ideas before I even start to paint.

Hours were spent in my studio today nixing one drawing after another because I know they’ll be inferior to the painting I just completed.

I also recently bought a new Nikon D80 which I’m much more compelled to fiddle with than start a new painting. There’s so much more instant gratification to be had and my paintings can take so long. The last one took three months. I could shoot 10,000 photos in that time.

In the middle of my creative block I was staring out my attic window as twilight approached and the light was so nice I ran outside and shot a ton of photos.

Then I had to spend more time sorting through them on the computer.

I spent so long outside that I froze my ass off and the thought of sitting up in a not so warm studio is less than appealing. I guess I’ll have to try again in a few days. I’m sure another good painting is waiting to appear.

Hopefully I’ll be able to post my latest painting in the near future. Since it is now a very belated birthday gift, I’m hoping to have it framed soon so that I can give it to her before her next birthday.

Yes bluberd, it could be true. I just may finish your birthday present by this weekend!

I’m praying to the painting Gods that I don’t do anything stupid to screw it up.

What could I possibly do you ask? Well, the other day I was carrying it down from the studio to show the associate. I slipped and almost chucked it down the spiral staircase. Another time I was doing some very fine detail work and completely forgot where my hand was resting. It turned out to be on another wet part of the painting and I had made some lovely hand prints all over it, I think the neighbors heard me shriek with that one. Last week I had the brilliant idea to pick lint out of the painting with an x-acto knife, lets just say that was a brain dead maneuver (I’ve now decided to embrace the rest of lint as part of the piece, what can I expect from a house with five animals). The list goes on.

So what is it now, about three months? I don’t think it has taken me that long to do a painting before. But then again, look at the size of this monster, it’s huge. Will you even have a wall big enough to accomodate this thing?

It will be hard to part with this one, it’s my friend now and I will miss it.

This month’s self-portrait challenge is “New Year Resolutions.”

My take on New Year resolutions—I never make them. It seems to me that I’d just be setting myself up for failure and ultimately another reason to be disappointed in myself. “In fact, fewer than 10 percent of people who set resolutions actually achieve them.”  Instead, I set intentions.

You may say “intention, resolution, what’s the difference?” Shades of grey, perhaps, but I see an intention as a kinder, gentler way of approaching change. It is a way of introducing new direction into my life without specific deadlines and lofty or unrealistic expectations.

in·ten·tion :
1. A course of action that one intends to follow.
2. An aim that guides action; an objective.

res·o·lu·tion :
1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2. A resolving to do something.
3. A course of action determined or decided on.

To me, a resolution is like an order, and I think most people resist being given orders, even if you give it to yourself. An intention suggests confidence in your ability for change, a resolution assumes you’re a child that must be forced to clean up their room. Perhaps I’m extreme, but the first response I have to an order is “screw you.”

I am still working on intentions that I have added years ago. If they’d have been resolutions, I’d have given up after a few months and tossed the whole thing aside while noting my failure and feeling guilty.

That being said, my first new intention is to spend more time painting and doing things that feed the creative part of me. I like who I am better when I’m doing these things and I know that when I go for extended periods of time without creating, I morph into one angry SOB.

So this intention will not only benefit myself, but everyone else that comes into contact with me.

I thought it was a good time to provide some updates on the various topics I’ve discussed over the last few months.

Kitchen remodeling:
We are still waiting for the contractor to finish the job. He needs to replace the crown molding, install the basement door and a few other minor fixes here and there. The jerk keeps making appointments to come over here and then never shows up. We would just find someone else to do it, however, it turned out that when he tiled the floor, one of his assistants washed all the grout down the drain in the back yard which then hardened and blocked up the pipe. It cost $200 to have the pipe cleared and we want the contractor to pay for this, which I think is only fair.

Adoption:
The latest estimate we’ve been given is that we are 2-3 months away from completion. We are at step 11 on the adoption process checklist.

Art:
I have actually managed to start a painting which I have been working on for about a month and a half now. It is making me so happy to be up in the studio playing with my paints again.

This painting is for bluberd’s big fat 40th birthday and it is taking so long to paint I don’t know if I’ll have it done in time. Here’s a little snippet to whet your appetite:

Insomnia:
I still don’t have the ability to fall asleep on my own. I read somewhere that you are considered to have insomnia if it takes you a half hour to fall asleep. Ha! That’s a laugh. If it took me a half hour to fall asleep I’d think I had narcolepsy.

I continued taking the Lunesta all month even though it still takes me an hour or so to fall asleep and the taste is disgusting. It’s better than staring at the ceiling all night. I just refilled the prescription and this new batch seems like it is a lot stronger. I took the first one Monday night and within 15 minutes I was in such a drug haze that I couldn’t walk right. The next morning I woke to find that I went to bed in what I had been wearing all day, luckily I was lucid enough to take off my hiking shoes first. (and no, I wasn’t drinking)

Thanksgiving flood:
We received the check from our home insurance and now have to find the time to get yet another contractor over here to quote for repairing the damage. I am not looking forward to this.

I guess the only thing this post is missing is a song.
Here’s the latest mp3 I’ve been torturing your painting with bluberd:

It just may be that my long overdue return to art making has begun. I have organized my studio, thrown away the useless junk that had accumulated during my artistic hibernation and set up my space with the full intention that I’m going to be using it again.

Believe it or not, I’ve actually done a couple drawings. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my attention won’t wander away and I can actually make a habit of painting again.