Okay - so you know about the Super Freak married guy but not my new guy….you will all fall off your chairs when i tell you.  I think I met a real genuinely nice guy.  I had the electric company come to check my heat - let’s face it what would you expect - a buck tooth guy who’s ass crack is showing….hell no.  He was cute and funny and smart…and i was wearing my flannel pjs, sweatshirt, slippers and tie dye scrunchy to get the door. We talked we laughed, he called me three times that day.  We hung out that Friday and he called me the day after our date…no sex….too soon….so that’s good. I’ll keep you all posted.

So here is a quick update to my dating life…or lack of dating life.

Married guy, Dave, I specifically said I won’t do anything with a married dude, but I could be friends. So he said that would be fine. I was telling him one day about my windows that don’t work correctly, he said “I used to be a contractor let me take a look.” So I said yes, thinking he had gotten the message that I wasn’t interested in dating him. Long story short, he didn’t and after I jumped back from his approach and said hell no, he looked at me like I was a freak for not finding him desirable.  HELL NO.  He is so unattractive to me I’d rather have sex with myself forever than with him….NEVER. 

I decided to ask him why he offered to fix my windows. Of course he said it’s because he had hopes. Again I said no…So because I know you may not believe this is my life I saved the IM conversation…Enjoy.

him are you still kinda weard about us
me  no because we’re just friends, why
him  I just rember your face when I was leaving the last time we meet
me  I just didn’t want to send any mixed signals
him I understand it is just how we meet that is all
me  and then i told you how i felt and that if you didn’t want to just be friends I’d understood because i know what you are looking for. did you think i was sending mixed signals?
him  you have one beautiful body and I just wanted to enjoy you
me  thank you, but you understand why i pulled back that Sat. then?
him  Yes I do, it is because I am married right ?
me  yes and i told you before i only wanted to be friends.  this may not come out right, you’re not doing my windows because you’re hoping something will happen?
him at first yes but now I have the parts and you’ve been so sweet I will put them in
me  are you being sarcastic with the sweet comment?
him  why you feel you were not sweet
me  thanks for being honest I am nice - i’m not saying that
him  you think a lot about this and I am sorry to upset you with all these thoughts
me  don’t be sorry - i just don’t want to lead you on and hurt you. that’s it. not that i’d hurt you
him  than make love to me and we will both smile
me  no
him  I am laughing because that is the last thing you want me to think
me  yes
him your hot  what can I say
me  you’ll find someone who wants what you want back
him set me up than
me  don’t know anyone that wants that kind of relationship  you’re right i am sweet
him  and sexy
me  i got it, so am i asking too much with the windows?
him  maybe what do you think

So as you can see he’s not going to do my windows because i’m not going to do him.

JACKASS - SUPER FREAK  

So let me tell you I’m online dating again and last night some guy emails me and says we should IM. So I gave him my contact info. and we start talking.

He said I was pretty, that’s always nice, predictable but nice. Then he asked what I do for a living, again questions that you expect when first talking with someone. Then, out of left field, he asked me if I have a nice chest and “is it big?” WTF!!! Why do I bother!

Who raised these pigs? Honestly, would these guy’s parents be shocked by their behavior or would Dad just say “ah, that’s my boy!”

I’m really thinking that I may never find someone and it makes me sad. It’s like I have this big, fat, stink-ass, black cloud of nothingness following me everywhere.

I don’t want to die alone.

I am not sure where to begin, but basically my dating experiences have been less than impressive. I seem to attract very odd men and am attracted to men that are unavailable. I’ll just stick to the odd men that are attracted to me.

Let’s see I moved from Virginia because I had a stalker. It’s quite thrilling to have the domestic violence unit of the police department come to your home and try to calm you down. Nothing says this is my life like having the police dust your car for finger prints or having to run from your car to your home in fear. After the second date he told me I was the one for him and I needed to tell him where I stood.  I’m like far from you, you loon. Luckily I moved away and then tried online dating again. Yes the stalker was someone I met online. 

 So I met a gynocologist….my regular obgyn is a woman and she said “never date an obgyn” and I should have listened. All he wanted to do was get naked and go swimming in the ocean. This was before we even went out…And then one time when I was upset at being a woman he proceeded to tell me it’s a gift to be a woman, it’s beautiful..blah blah blah. To me there is nothing more offensive than some male doctor telling me how flowery and nice it is to be a woman. Please it’s not that nice. So needless to say that didn’t go anywhere….then I tried another online website.  I met another man, who brought me flowers on the first meeting.  That was sweet, but of course that was short lived because he was a serial texter. He couldn’t call but all he did was text. The following Friday after we met before we even went out on a date he texted me “we should get naked and cuddle.” I showed that to my friends to make sure I wasn’t over reacting and the general consensus was I was not. What goes on in some people’s heads? Did he think I would be so grateful for the opportunity to cuddle?

 So fast forward - another date - he had baby hands. The whole time we were on the date I was fixated on how small his hands were. They were the size of a six year olds. That wasn’t the part that made me think it must be me, it was the fact that he was a 34 year old man who had just gotten his first real job. He spent the past 10 years temping. I sat there thinking you just got a job and moved out of your parents home at 34? I’ve lived on my own for almost a decade.

Now for my last online story…I started talking to a guy, Dave for about a month. One day I asked if he had any kids. It seemed like a logical question because he is 45. He asked if I had any, which annoyed me because I already knew something was fishy. So after further questioning he said yes and that he’s been divorced twice. None of that bothered me, because things happen. As the conversation progressed I harmlessly asked where his ex wife lives. He said, with me…I said “are you still married?” and he replied “yes” and I sat there thinking did he think he could keep this a secret? So right there I told him that I’m not the girl for him.

I truly have bad luck with dating men.