As one or two of you may know, I can’t keep my eyes off that stinking Flickr site. But tonight I feel like my time has been well spent.
I hit pay dirt! I have found someone with the ultimate collection of mugshots and lineups etc. While the photos alone could keep me busy for hours, it is the comments that put them over the top and make this some of the best entertainment I’ve found on the web in a long time.
People just don’t have good aliases like this any more:
This story from the NY Post happened outside the building where I work—his body was behind a sheet all morning—homicide detectives were there past noon:
VILLAGE CORPSE TWIST
By LARRY CELONA, DAN KADISON and CYNTHIA R. FAGEN
Only in the West Village, kids . . .
The body of a man clad in a kinky black leather mask and decked out head to toe in S&M gear was hanging from a chain-link fence on Hudson Street yesterday - as many passers-by ignored it, thinking it was a Halloween display.
The slightly built, fair-skinned mystery man may have been choked to death by a dog collar around his neck, it’s other end strapped around a 3-foot-tall fence post, police sources said.
The 40ish, tattooed man was found kneeling, braced face-first against the fence in front of 424 Hudson St. at around 6:45 a.m.
In a bizarre twist, the body had been there for at least an hour, dismissed by some who walked past as a quirky seasonal display in an area scattered with S&M and gay bars.
“The body was covered with a black suit and he had a mask on his face,” said deli owner Indra Patel, who first spotted the strangely posed corpse when he opened next door around 5:30 a.m.
“I thought it was a dummy. It looked like a dummy, because every year they do decorations like that. I was wondering why they put up the [Halloween] decorations early.”
After weeks of badgering the adoption agency for any information regarding the status of the adoption my associate has finally broken the social worker. She cracked under the pressure and let her know that in the 29 item-long list of steps to the Guatemalan adoption process she is at, drumroll please,……..#5, woo-hoo. I say that “she,” meaning my associate, is at #5 because as far as anyone official knows, I simply don’t exist. So I’m being petty about it, it’s my prerogative. The only proof I have that I’m part of this process is that I’m so stressed out I haven’t really slept for a month, my head spins out of control with “what if’s,” I just lost 5 lbs. without trying and I’ve got a foot high pile of adoption books on my nightstand. (I read an entire book the other night while I couldn’t sleep.)
As an added bonus, they also coughed up the baby’s latest monthly report. It has no useful information for the most part but at least they sent her something. She really must have put the thumbscrews to em. I’m surprised they didn’t send up a dirty diaper just to get her off their backs. (Well, technically it’s get me off their backs but they don’t know that, shhhh. Good thing nobody reads this.)
P.S.
I don’t know the first thing about the size a baby should be—I know he was 5 lbs when he was born. So if he weighs 7.9 lbs. now does that seem right or is it really scrawny?
Perhaps he’s actually a pixie? If so, I think I would like that, I have a great affinity for small things.
I found this photo today and it made me think. Perhaps the next time I’m overwhelmed by my life, pissed off at my crappy neighbors or wanting to strangle the little dog that wizzed on my coffee table I should remember that at least I didn’t just catch a javeline with my foot. Things could be worse.
On September 26, 1957, West Side Story, composed by Leonard Bernstein, opens at
the Winter Garden Theatre on Broadway. For the groundbreaking musical, Bernstein
provided a propulsive and rhapsodic score that many celebrate as his greatest
achievement as a composer…
We’ve reordered the crown molding for the section that looks like crap but who knows if we’ll ever be able to get in touch with the contractor again to put it up. He was supposed to be here last Wednesday to put the door to the basement in but he was a no-show and hasn’t returned our calls. I guess this job is dead to him now.
I’ve basically been fixing all the little things that bother me like unfilled nail holes, gashes and cracks. Looks like I’ll be repainting the walls. Many of the nail holes don’t seem to be fillable since they’re in the decorative parts of the molding and bullets, that pisses me off and I can’t stand the sight of them. All of the outlets were installed upside down, I suppose I’ll be switching them around soon. I spent all night priming the unfinished wood bits so that I can paint the baseboards and trim this week and I’ve been patching the shattered dining room wall.
The granite company came out last Friday to make the template for the countertop and it will probably be another three weeks before that is completed. Yes, three more weeks of no sink or water. Three more weeks of doing dishes in the tiny basement sink. It seems like an eternity but I’m sure it will be all worth it in the end.
A couple months ago I found a link in a blog which revealed the fact that there is actually a Celine Dion Tribute Album out there that is so absurd I couldn’t believe it. If you followed that link you’ll know why I was dumbfounded and yet giddy at having discovered what I thought was quite possibly the stupidest album I’ve ever seen. I personally think any tribute album to Celine Dion would be laughable, (she hasn’t been around long enough or recorded enough syrup yet to deserve a tribute has she?), but a Gregorian Chant tribute album? Now I’ve seen it all.
Then I started thinking, if these Gregorian Chanter fellows were so willing to prostitute what is probably some sort of classical training on a horror like this tribute album there must be more atrocities out there for me to snicker at. And there are, yes indeedie there are more.
Perhaps they should have their chanting license revoked, look at some of the other songs these guys cover:
Masters of Chant Gregorian Chant versions of hits from the likes of U2, Simon & Garfunkel, John Lennon, Pink Floyd & Coldplay, includes two bonus tracks, ‘The End Of Days’ (original) & ‘Heaven Is A Place On Earth’ (Belinda Carlisle).
Masters of Chant Vol. 3 More chant versions of tracks by Neil Diamond ‘Be’, New Order ‘Blue Monday’, Duran Duran ‘Ordinary World’, ‘Wicked Game’ Chris Isaak and more.
I just found their version of Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” that’s just not right.
I had a hard time deciding which song to place here for your listening pleasure, they’re all so wonderful. My first pick definitely would have been Celine Dion’s “Tell Him,” but I couldn’t get my hands on it so you’ll have to settle for U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”
Went out drinking and smoking again last night so I have no energy for writing anything of substance and this post will entertain no one. For some reason I’m overly introspective and glum.
I’m obsessed with Nina Simone’s version of Lilac Wine today and have played it about 20 times already. A clear example of the space I’m in.
Lilac Wine
James Shelton
I lost myself on a cool damp night
Gave myself in that misty light
Was hypnotized by a strange delight
Under a lilac tree
I made wine from the lilac tree
Put my heart in its recipe
It makes me see what I want to see…
And be what I want to be
When I think more than I want to think
Do things I never should do
I drink much more that I ought to drink
Because It brings me back you…
Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love
Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love
Listen to me… I cannot see clearly
Isn’t that she coming to me nearly here?
Lilac wine is sweet and heady where’s my love?
Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, where’s my love?
Listen to me, why is everything so hazy?
Isn’t that she, or am I just going crazy, dear?
Yes it’s true, I have finally given in and held a baby. Here I am with Nate Chiaro-Fulton:
I guess I’m going to have to get some practice in and do this more often. I think I’ll tackle these cute potatoes next. I should probably start with the one on the left or right because the one in the middle looks like he’s quite a handful.
Peer, Gary and Till, the cutest triplets I’ve ever seen.
out there that is so absurd I couldn’t believe it. If you followed that link you’ll know why I was dumbfounded and yet giddy at having discovered what I thought was quite possibly the stupidest album I’ve ever seen. I personally think any tribute album to Celine Dion would be laughable, (she hasn’t been around long enough or recorded enough syrup yet to deserve a tribute has she?), but a Gregorian Chant tribute album? Now I’ve seen it all.
