My Dad left today. In general it was a good visit. Alex seemed to really charm him and conversely he seemed to charm Alex.

However, when it was time for him to pack up and go, I was ready for a break. He can be such a tiresome pain in the ass with all his constant complaining: “The weather is too cold, the direcTV is a stupid piece of shit, when are we eating, my hateful cat is a bitchy piece of shit, when are we eating, the Democrats are assholes, when are we eating, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away - what a horrible bitch, … conservative rhetoric etc. etc. etc………….” It really wears a person down to listen to this all day, no wonder my mother is losing her hearing, it’s on purpose.

Oh, and the door slamming and having the volume on the TV turned up so people across the street can hear it and talking as if you are shouting in a crowded bar, geez Louise:

Dad: SLAM, open, SLAM-SLAM…

Me (whispering): “Dad - what are you doing, please be quiet Alex is sleeping right next to your room, please try not to slam the door.”

Dad (megaphone voice): “Oh, right, I’m not used to being quiet”

Me (whispering): “Shhhhhh”

Dad (normal voice): “Ok, sorry”

Dad walks across the hall to the bathroom…

Dad: SLAM

Heather comes to the bottom of the stairs…

Heather (whispering): “What the hell is he doing?”

Me: “I don’t know, I tried to tell him to be quiet”

I go downstairs, then we hear the bathroom door swing open and bang into the wall…

Dad (megaphone voice at the top of the stairs echoing like the grand canyon): “Do you have a Ziploc baggie I could use? Hey, what is that? A white noise machine in Alex’s room? Are you down there…Hello?”    

Heather and I pass out and then die from the aneurysms that just exploded in our brains.

We decided to have some fun and spend all afternoon in the woods today since my poor associate is flying out tonight for a couple days in London.

The wee boy had the best time bouncing in his backpack, the dogs frolicked in the forest and I took a million useless photos - much fun was had by all.

I always hate it when she goes away, but it’s particularly difficult now that Alex is here. Lucky for me a neighbor offered to stay with Alex tomorrow morning while I walk the dogs and it turns out that my father’s visit comes with a bonus, he is returning from my sister’s in the afternoon so I won’t have to infringe on the neighbors again for all the other dog walks over the next couple days.

Yeah!

My father finally decided it was time to meet Alex. He arrived Wednesday afternoon and before he was even through the door of our house he had picked Alex up and was already getting a big smile and laugh out of him. Alex pulled out all of his most charming attributes which my father gobbled right up, the wee boy must have intuitively known he needed to impress this old guy quickly.

We went out shopping yesterday and Pappou wasted no time getting Alex some new toys. This squishy truck is his favorite.

My Dad is off to visit my sister for the weekend, he left during Alex’s nap and when he woke up he looked everywhere for the crazy fat man who makes him laugh and seemed somewhat disappointed that he was nowhere to be found.

Yes, that’s right, it’s my big fat 40th birthday today.

How am I spending this fabulous day you ask? Well, I’m taking care of Alex and cleaning the house of course. Nothing says Happy Birthday like folding laundry and vacuuming the rugs. When I’m through with that I may get crazy and polish the granite, hot diggity dog!

If you read my last post where I mentioned Dora the Explorer, you already know that I detest this show. As luck would have it, while I was searching for a photo of Muno, I happened across an SNL spoof of Dora.

I don’t know if it is just my passionate hatred or not, but this really makes me laugh and it so perfectly captures the true essence of this awful show.

For awhile now I’ve tried to see if Alex is interested in watching TV and for the most part he wants nothing to do with the television. I’ve tried all the shows and none of them capture his attention, some of which I’m very grateful for. I hope he never likes that nauseating Dora the Explorer for example, two seconds of listening to those horrible, high-pitched, whiny children’s voices shouting instead of talking makes me want to throw a brick through the TV screen.

But I digress, the actual direction I was going here is that earlier this week we stumbled upon Yo Gabba Gabba and found that the wee boy likes this show. So we watched a few episodes and then suddenly one day I’m looking at it and I realize that what may seem to be your run of the mill, blobby, abstract characters may not be exactly what they appear to be. I found it somewhat peculiar and intriguing.

You see, the creators would like to think the character Muno is a tall, friendly monster. However, if you take a second look, it would seem that this big, red cyclops has a doppelganger which can be found in any sex toy shop. No, this is not a product of my perverted mind, if any of you have seen this show I’m sure you’ve come to the same conclusion. I’m not even going to get started on the fact it is covered in little bumps. Do you think this was intentional? It had to be, there’s no way that there wasn’t a single person at the studio that noticed this fact. Here, judge for yourselves:

The jury is still out on Foofa, she’s looking a little butt-plug-esque to me. Now how could the religious right have a problem with Tinky Winky and totally miss the fact that Yo Gabba Gabba is a front for The Pleasure Chest?

Yes, there is yet another Chinese toy recall. Stop the madness.

Why in the world would someone want to grow long toenails?

This woman must have some sort of serious mental disorder because there’s no way you’d want these things on your feet unless you were a few clowns short of a circus.

1. Alex has just discovered that if you remove your pants and diaper while in the crib, it makes it so much easier to pee all over everything.
2. The dermatologist’s office called and I am not dying of skin cancer, that’s a relief. Stinking Dr.s really know how to scare people don’t they.
3. Microsoft can take it’s precious Vista and stick it where the sun don’t shine.